Republicans believe every day is the 4th of July, Democrats believe every day is April 15.
Republicans tend to keep their shades drawn, although there is seldom any reason why they should. Democrats ought to, but don't.
Republicans study the financial pages of the newspaper. Democrats put them in the bottom of the bird cage.
Republicans raise dahlias, Dalmatians, and eyebrows. Democrats raise Airedales, kids, and taxes.
Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to marry Republican girls, but feel that they're entitled to a little fun first.
Your Wallet: The One Place Democrats Are Willing to Drill
Connecticut: Like Massachusetts, Only The Kennedy's Don't Own It-Yet
Maryland: If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It
Q: What's the difference between a Democrat and a catfish?
A: One is an ugly, scum sucking bottom-feeder and the other is a fish.
Q: What do you get when you cross a pilgrim with a democrat?
A: A god-fearing tax collector who gives thanks for what other people have.
Q: Why did God create Democrats?
A: In order to make used car salesmen look good.
Sanctimonious 'Morning Joe' Crew Goes Full Religion to Blast Trump -
You could almost hear the strains of "Give Me that Old Time Religion" in the background as the Morning Joe crew used religion to blast Trump on Thursday...
1 hour ago